Lesson 141: Overcoming Negativity: How to Train Your Brain for a Positive Outlook

“Change your thoughts and you change your world.” – Dr. Norman Vincent Peale

Your thoughts shape your reality. Negativity can feel like an unavoidable force, creeping into thoughts, emotions, and everyday experiences. But what if you could train your brain to resist it? The mind is incredibly adaptable, and with the right techniques, you can shift from a negative mindset to a more optimistic, resilient outlook. It’s not about ignoring challenges or pretending everything is perfect—it’s about rewiring your thinking to focus on solutions, growth, and emotional well-being.

Understanding the Brain’s Bias Toward Negativity

The brain is wired for negativity bias, an evolutionary survival mechanism that helps us detect threats. While this was useful for avoiding danger, in modern life, it can lead to:

• Overanalyzing mistakes or criticism.
• Dwelling on negative experiences more than positive ones.
• Expecting worst-case scenarios in uncertain situations.

Recognizing this built-in tendency is the first step toward overcoming negativity and shifting toward balanced thinking.

Reframing Negative Thoughts

Negative thoughts often appear automatically, creating a feedback loop of pessimism. Learning to reframe these thoughts can break the cycle:

• Instead of “I always mess things up,” try “I made a mistake, but I can learn from it.”
• Instead of “Nothing ever works out for me,” try “This situation is difficult, but there’s always a way forward.”

Studies on cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) show that reframing negative thoughts can significantly reduce stress and anxiety, reinforcing a more positive mindset.

Practicing Gratitude to Shift Perspective

Gratitude is one of the most powerful tools for combating negativity. Research shows that regularly practicing gratitude can:

• Boost mood and overall life satisfaction.
• Reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety.
• Rewire the brain toward positive thinking patterns.

Try keeping a gratitude journal, listing things you appreciate—no matter how small. Over time, this rewires the mind to focus on abundance rather than lack.

Mindfulness: Breaking Free from Negative Thought Loops

Negativity often thrives in rumination, where thoughts spiral out of control. Mindfulness helps interrupt this cycle by bringing awareness to the present moment.

• Meditation reduces repetitive negative thinking, improving emotional resilience.
• Deep breathing lowers cortisol (the stress hormone), easing tension and frustration.
• Observing thoughts without judgment helps prevent negativity from consuming your mindset.

Surrounding Yourself with Positivity

Your environment shapes your mental state more than you realize.

• Limit exposure to negativity, whether it’s toxic relationships or consuming excessive bad news.
• Seek supportive people—optimistic conversations help reinforce positive thinking.
• Engage in uplifting activities, like creative hobbies or spending time in nature.

Research shows that social support and positive interactions play a crucial role in shaping mental well-being and reducing negativity.

Faith, affirmations, and a disciplined mental attitude can transform not only your outlook but your entire life. By believing in yourself and aligning your thoughts with positivity, you unlock a life of deeper joy, success, and peace.

• Believe in yourself and your abilities.
• Fill your mind with positive thoughts.
• Practice visualization and affirmations.
• Repeat empowering prayers or statements.
• Face challenges with faith instead of fear.

These might sound simple, even obvious. But the real power lies in consistent practice—reshaping your inner narrative until optimism becomes second nature.

Studies now confirm that:

• Positive thinking reduces stress and anxiety.
• Optimism is linked to longer lifespan and better cardiovascular health.
• Self-belief activates the brain’s reward systems and improves performance.

Is Positive Thinking Just “Toxic Positivity”?

It’s important to distinguish authentic optimism from “toxic positivity.” Dr. Peale never suggested ignoring problems or pretending everything is perfect. Instead, he invited us to acknowledge reality while choosing to focus on solutions, hope, and inner strength.

In his words:

“Stand up to your obstacles and do something about them. You will find that they haven’t half the strength you think they have.”

How to Practice Positive Thinking Today

You don’t need to follow Peale’s exact framework to benefit from his message. Here’s how to bring his wisdom into your modern life:

• Morning Mindset Ritual: Start the day with a positive affirmation or quote.
• Faith over Fear: When you feel anxious, pause and ask, “What’s one empowering belief I can adopt right now?”
• Visualize Success: Before a big challenge, see yourself succeeding—feel the confidence in your body.
• Gratitude Journal: End each day listing 3 things you’re grateful for, training your brain to seek the good.

Practice Positive Thinking Today

Overcoming negativity isn’t about suppressing emotions—it’s about training your brain to focus on growth, possibility, and self-compassion. Through reframing thoughts, practicing gratitude, mindfulness, and cultivating a positive environment, you can rebuild your mindset into one that fosters resilience, optimism, and fulfillment.

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Lesson 51: Words Matter: How Gossip Undermines Trust and Unity

The Hidden Dangers of Gossiping: Why We Should Think Before We Speak

Gossiping is an age-old practice that has been a part of human interaction for centuries. While it may seem harmless and even entertaining at times, gossip can have significant negative consequences on both individuals and communities. We often gossip because it feels natural to talk about others and share stories or opinions. But while it might seem like a fun or lighthearted activity, gossiping can have negative consequences that go far beyond just spreading information.

What is Gossip?

At its core, gossip is the act of discussing someone else’s private life, actions, or behaviors — often without their knowledge or consent. It typically involves rumors, speculation, and hearsay rather than verified facts. Its talking about someone when they’re not present, sharing information that may or may not be true, and passing judgment.

While gossip can sometimes take the form of lighthearted banter or harmless chit-chat, it often crosses a line into negative talk that damages reputations, spreads misinformation, and creates tension among individuals or groups.

Why Do We Gossip?

Before we delve into the dangers, let’s consider why gossiping is so prevalent.

1. Social Bonding: Gossip can sometimes serve as a way for people to bond. Sharing juicy details or funny stories about others can create a sense of connection and solidarity. It can make people feel closer, like they are “in the know” or part of an exclusive group.
2. Validation: Gossiping can be a way for people to seek validation or boost their own social status. Talking about others, especially if it’s critical, can make someone feel superior or more important.
3. Entertainment: Let’s face it — sometimes gossip can simply be entertaining. When we hear about someone’s misfortune or an unusual story, it can be a way to escape our own lives or feel a bit of excitement.
4. Emotional Release: People may also gossip as a form of venting. If someone is upset with a colleague, friend, or family member, gossiping about it can be a way to process emotions or frustrations.
5. Information Sharing: Gossip can be a means of sharing information and staying informed about the activities and behaviors of others. This can be particularly true in tight-knit communities or work places.
6. Power and Influence: Gossiping can give individuals a sense of power and control. By having and sharing insider information, they may feel more influential and important.
7. Coping Mechanism: Gossip can serve as a way for individuals to cope with their own insecurities and frustrations. It can provide temporary relief by shifting the focus away from their own issues.

But while gossip may seem harmless, the impact it can have on others (and even on ourselves) is far-reaching.

The Negative Effects of Gossiping

While it’s easy to brush off gossip as just casual conversation, its consequences can be significant. Here are a few of the harmful effects gossip can have:

1. Damage to Reputations

One of the most obvious negative effects of gossip is the potential harm to someone’s reputation. Gossip, especially when it’s negative or untrue, can create a false narrative about a person. Once a rumor starts circulating, it can be hard to reverse the damage. Even if the gossip isn’t entirely accurate, it can shape how others perceive the person being discussed.

2. Broken Trust

Gossip can lead to broken trust in relationships, whether in friendships, families, or workplaces. When people realize that others are gossiping about them behind their backs, it can create feelings of betrayal and hurt. People want to feel respected and valued, and gossiping undermines that trust, eroding the foundation of healthy relationships.

3. Spread of Misinformation

Many times, gossip involves sharing details that are only partial or entirely incorrect. The more a piece of gossip is passed along, the further it can get from the truth. This spreading of misinformation can lead to confusion, misunderstandings, and even conflict between individuals or groups.

4. Toxic Environments

In workplaces or social circles, gossip can create a toxic environment. When people are constantly talking about others behind their backs, it fosters a sense of negativity and mistrust. It can make people feel anxious about what others are saying about them, stifling collaboration and damaging team morale. Over time, this can lead to isolation and a lack of unity among the group.

5. Weakened Self-Esteem

People who are the subject of gossip may experience damage to their self-esteem. Being the target of gossip can lead to feelings of humiliation, embarrassment, or insecurity. It can also make them feel alienated from others, especially if they believe they are being unfairly judged or misrepresented.

6. Perpetuates a Cycle of Negativity

Gossip often creates a cycle of negativity. Once people start gossiping about others, it encourages more gossip. It fosters an environment where talking behind someone’s back becomes normalized, and it perpetuates a culture of judgment and criticism. Instead of encouraging healthy communication and problem-solving, gossip fuels division and conflict.

7. Emotional Distress

Being the subject of gossip can cause significant emotional distress. It can lead to feelings of humiliation, anxiety, and depression, affecting an individual’s mental well-being.

8. Hindrance to Personal Growth

Gossiping can prevent individuals from focusing on their own growth and development. It diverts attention away from constructive activities and perpetuates a cycle of negativity.

How to Break the Habit of Gossiping

Breaking free from the gossip trap requires conscious effort and a commitment to fostering a positive and supportive environment. If you’ve realized that gossiping has become a part of your routine, it’s important to recognize that breaking the habit is not only possible, but necessary for healthier relationships and a more positive environment. Here are some steps to help you steer clear of gossip:

1. Pause Before Speaking

Take time to reflect on your own behavior and motivations for gossiping. Recognize the impact it has on others and make a conscious decision to change. Before discussing someone else, ask yourself, “Is this information necessary? Will it benefit the conversation? Am I being respectful?” If the answer is no, then it’s a good idea to refrain from speaking. Pausing before speaking allows you to consider the impact of your words and prevents you from spreading negativity.

2. Practice Empathy

Put yourself in the shoes of the person you’re talking about. How would you feel if people were gossiping about you? Practicing empathy helps you consider the emotional consequences of your words and reminds you of the importance of treating others with kindness and respect.

3. Focus on Positive Conversations

Instead of focusing on what’s wrong with others, shift your focus to the positive. Share compliments, celebrate accomplishments, and talk about ideas and solutions rather than problems and shortcomings. Positive conversations not only strengthen relationships but also encourage a supportive atmosphere.

4. Confront Gossip Directly

Politely decline to participate in gossip ans set clear boundaries with others. If you find yourself in a conversation where gossip is taking place, speak up. You don’t have to engage in the conversation, but you can redirect the topic or politely express that you’re not comfortable participating in gossip. By doing so, you set boundaries and discourage the spread of harmful information.

5. Build Trust and Transparency

To create an environment where gossip is less likely to thrive, focus on building trust and transparency with those around you. When people feel heard and understood, they’re less likely to resort to gossip as a way of airing their grievances.

6. Seek Factual Information

Rely on verified facts and credible sources of information. Avoid spreading unverified rumors and speculation.

7. Be Mindful of Your Words

Practice mindfulness and think before you speak. Consider the potential impact of your words on others and choose to communicate with kindness and respect.

8. Support Those Affected by Gossip

Offer support and empathy to individuals who have been targeted by gossip. Stand up for them and help create a culture of trust and respect.

Speak with Integrity

While gossiping might seem like a harmless way to pass the time, it has far-reaching consequences for both individuals and relationships. By becoming more aware of the impact of our words, we can choose to speak with integrity, respect, and kindness. Instead of tearing others down, we can uplift them, create healthier environments, and foster deeper, more trusting connections.

Remember, the power of your words is immense, use them wisely to uplift and inspire, rather than to tear down and divide.

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Lesson 9: EFT Tapping: Emotional Freedom Technique

“The cause of all negative emotions is a disruption in the body’s energy system.” by Gary Craig

Gary Craig is the founder of Emotional Freedom Technique also known as EFT, Tapping or EFT Tapping. This technique is a healing tool to assist in improving our daily life’s. This technique dissolves our emotional issues to improve physically, emotionally, mentally, environmentally, intellectually, occupationally, socially and spiritually.  EFT is borrowed from the Chinese meridian system, Gary explains “EFT combines the physical benefits of acupuncture with the cognitive benefits of conventional therapy for a much faster, more complete treatment of emotional issues, and the physical and performance issues that often result.” EFT does not use needles, rather a simple two step method involving:

1. mentally “tuning in” to a specific issue(s) while
2. stimulating certain meridian points on the body by tapping on these points with your fingertips.

EFT appears to balance disturbances in the meridian system, if done correctly, thus reducing conventional therapy procedures from months or years down to minutes or hours. This technique is very easy to learn and can be done anywhere, anytime with impressive do-it-yourself results.

Energy courses through your body and it is invisible to the eye, this energy flows within your meridians. By simply tapping near the end points of these energy meridians, you can experience profound changes in your emotional and physical health.

Be careful of the many EFT programs out there that claim to be a legitimate alternative, do your homework before investing in any of these programs.  Always consult a doctor before you practice EFT.

Introduction video to EFT, watch here

EFT respects the memory but focuses on addressing the true cause of your issues. Many people believe their memories are the root of their problems, but EFT doesn’t require you to relive past traumas to find relief. While painful memories may come up during the process, there is minimal suffering involved.

Negative emotions are often triggered by distressing memories that disrupt the body’s energy flow. EFT works by addressing the distressed memory, restoring the body’s energy, and replacing the negative emotion. This leads to rapid relief by directly addressing the root cause of the issue.

EFT Discovery statement, watch here

The EFT tapping process consists of five simple steps that should be followed in order. The technique focuses on a 9-point tapping sequence, which works with 12 meridians and 2 governing vessels. These pathways are interconnected, sending balancing energy through one pathway that influences others. This is why addressing just a few key pathways is enough to bring balance. Once you identify the issues, tapping stimulates the energy pathways, allowing the energy to flow freely. After you’ve memorized the process, it can be done in about 30 seconds.

Positive Outcomes Include:

• Many soldiers report that their PTSD symptoms, nightmares, and intrusive thoughts have faded after using EFT.
• Some phobias, such as fear of public speaking, spiders, or heights, have been completely eliminated in just a few minutes and never returned.
• Various types of pain, including headaches, often experience partial or complete instant relief.
• Professional therapists have found that EFT allows them to achieve deeper, faster, and longer-lasting results with clients.
• Cravings, including for sugar, alcohol, cigarettes, and shopping, can subside. When you feel a craving, performing EFT can help. Remember, cravings are a lighter form of addiction, and deeper issues may need to be addressed if you’re dealing with substance dependencies.
• Some athletes report improved, sometimes dramatic, performance.
• Many people with serious illnesses experience partial to complete symptom relief. EFT has helped with a wide range of issues where emotional or energetic factors are involved. While success varies and not everyone finds relief, the theory is that unresolved stress or emotional issues over time may make our bodies more vulnerable to disease, so it’s always recommended to clear as much of that stress as possible.

To address emotional issues like anger, relationship problems, workplace stress, low self-esteem, and anxiety, focus on the emotions tied to the issue. Identify what makes the situation intense and use tapping to release those emotions.

The EFT Tapping Points

KC: (Karate Chop). This is located at the center of the fleshy part of the outside of your hand (either hand) that you would use to deliver a karate chop.

TOH: (Top of the head). This point is halfway between your ears and the center of your nose to the middle of the back of your head.

EB: (Eyebrow). At the beginning of the eyebrow.

SE: (Side of the eye). On the bone bordering the outside corner of the eye.

UE: (Underneath the eye). On the bone under the eye about 1 inch below your pupil.

UN: (Under the nose). On the small area between the bottom of your nose and the top of your upper lip.

Ch: (Chine). Midway between the point of your chin and the bottom of your lower lip.

CB: (Collarbone).  To locate this point, first place your forefinger on the U-shaped notch at the top of the breastbone (about where a man would knot his tie). From the bottom of the U, move your forefinger down toward the navel 1 inch and then go to the left (or right) 1 inch.

UA: (Under the arm). On the side of the body, at a point even with the nipple (for men) or in the middle of the bra strap (for women). It is about 4 inches below the armpit.

Some Tapping Tips

• Tapping points are the same on either side of the body. You only need to tap one side of these twin points. However, if you have both hands free you can tap on both sides for good measure. You can also switch sides when tapping these points.
• The Tapping is done with two or more fingertips. This is so you can cover a larger area and thereby ensure that your tapping covers the correct point. Most people use their dominant hand to tap.
• You tap approximately 5 times on each point. No need to count the taps because anywhere between 3 and 7 taps on each point is adequate. The only exception is during the Karate Chop Point which is tapped continuously while you repeat standard wording.
• The process is easily memorized. After you have tapped the Karate Chop Point, the rest of the points go down the body in sequence as per the diagram above.

The 5 Basic Steps

1. Identify the issues (This is a mental note of what is bothering you, this could include, sore throat or I was embarrassed at my friend’s birthday party, when I fell down the stairs.  Only target 1 issue at a time. This issue needs to belong to you, your focus and your reactions. The language that we use always aims at the negative as it is the negative that creates these energy disruptions. Other conventional methods promote positive thinking, EFT aims at the negative to neutralize and the natural positives to bubble up to the top).
2. Initial intensity (This is the intensity you feel on a scale of 0-10, 0 being no feeling or 10 being the worst feeling. This is so that you can compare your progress later. On a scale of 0-10, how sore is your thought or how embarrassed were you at the party, when you fell down the stairs)
3. The setup (This is your simple phrase. This wording is an essential part of the process because it tells our system what we are working on. You can use some flexibility when using these phrases. The phrase has 2 parts:                                                                             a) the issue(s)                                                                                                                         b) accepting yourself in spite of this issue                                                                                We do this by saying:  “Even though I have this _______________, I deeply and completely accept myself” , “Even though I have a sore thought, I deeply and completely accept myself”, “Even though I was embarrassing at my friends birthday party, when I fell down the stairs. I deeply and completely accept myself”.
4. The sequence (This sequence involves tapping each point shown in the diagram above while repeating the first part of your phrase in step 3. Start by tapping your KC point while repeating your phrase. Then move onto the other 8 points while repeating “This sore throat”. (You don’t need to repeat the full phrase for the other 8 points)
5. Test the intensity again (After the sequence, test the level of intensity again assigning a number from 0-10. Compare this number to the number in the first step and see how much progress you have made. If you are not down to zero, then repeat the process until you either achieve zero or plateau at some level.  Otherwise, you will likely need to “get to the roots of the issue”. (This is discussed in Emotional Freedom Technique Part II)

The 9 Point Tapping Sequence:

Phrase: “Even though I have a sore throat, I deeply and completely accept myself.”

Karate Chop (KC) Tap this part of your hand 3-7 time while repeating ” Even though I have a sore throat, I deeply and completely accept myself.”

Then move onto the other 8 points while repeating “This sore throat”. Again, you don’t need to repeat the full phrase for the other 8 points.

Top of the Head (TOH)
Beginning of the Eyebrow (EB)
Side of the Eye (SE)
Under the Eye (UE)
Under the Nose (UN)
Chin Point (CH)
Beginning of the Collarbone (CB)
Under the Arm (UA)

Useful methods to Help Access your Issue(s) and Arrive at your 0-10 Intensity Scale:

1. Emotional issues can be recreated by your memories and assessing your discomforts
2. Physical issues can be by assessing any pain or discomfort in your body
3. Performance issues can be by measuring your current performance level to your desired performance level.

It is very difficult to explain this procedure in words and pictures. It may be easier to watch the demonstration here

If you would like to practice, pick an issue that you are having at the moment. As a beginner you may or may not experience relief the first time. Practice makes perfect. 

Practice while watching here

Addressing your issue(s) one piece at a time is easier and far more powerful while being more specific means learning how to separate each issue into individual parts.

Side Note

Some issues may become more intense, this is not a ‘side effect’ of EFT but a natural reaction that would also occur when thinking or talking about the issue(s) (with a therapist, or otherwise). The major advantage of using EFT is the fact that it addresses the underlying emotional disruption immediately. Keep tapping until you feel calm again, take a break, distract yourself for a while, stop thinking about the issue and come back to it later or seek help from someone with professional training in EFT.

Some people report no benefits whatsoever.  This is often because EFT is applied improperly or lack of education. A small percentage (less than 3%) report having some distress as a result of the process.

You now have a permanent tool that you can use for a lifetime.

There are 5 parts to the Emotional Freedom Technique, this is Part I.  Click here to go to Part II.

If you are interested in learning more about EFT, please see below books by Gary Craig:

EFT Manual 

 

EFT For Weight Loss 

 

EFT For Sports Performance 

 

EFT For Back Pain

 

EFT For PTSD

 

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