Do you feel that you are an honest person? How important is honesty to you?
The truth is like a LION: you don’t have to define it. Let it loose: it will defend itself – Augustine of Hippo
US court operations have traditional roots. They descend from old English customs. In these customs, you had to take an oath on the Bible. If liars would lie in court, they risked eternal damnation. By lying with their hands on the Bible, they condemn their soul to hell. In earlier eras, atheists were not allowed to testify in court. They had no fear of eternal punishment to compel honesty. People were actually needed to kiss the Bible at one stage but did away with that due to hygiene purposes.
Did you know that 60% of adults lie at least once during a ten-minute conversation? By the age of four, 90% of children have grasped the concept of lying. An average of 40% of people lie on their resume. According to a study by the Scientific American, 90% of people lie in their online dating profile.
Being Honest May Not Get You A Lot of Friends But It’ll Always Get You The Right Ones.
So why do we lie?
The majority of lies are told to make someone feel better, to avoid trouble, or to make life simpler. A study by the university of Toronto found that the most trusting people are best at detecting lies. They are actually capable of telling when they are being lied to.
Psychologists tell us that by telling lie after lie, we gradually build a false version of reality. This can increasingly distance us from our real selves. After repeatedly lying about the same thing, we even come to believe it is true.
Honesty is a facet of moral character. It connotes positive and virtuous attributes like integrity, truthfulness, and straightforwardness. This includes straightforwardness of conduct, along with the absence of lying, cheating, theft, etc. Honesty also involves being trustworthy, loyal, fair, and sincere. Honesty is, in fact, primarily a moral choice.
Women typically lie more than men. The most common lies are:
- Their weight.
- When they say, ‘nothing’s wrong, I’m fine’.
- ‘Oh, this isn’t new, I’ve had it for ages’.
- ‘It wasn’t that expensive’.
- ‘It was on sale’.
- ‘I’m on my way’.
- ‘I’ll be ready in 5 minutes’.
- ‘I don’t know where it is, I haven’t touched it’.
- ‘I didn’t have that much to drink’.
- ‘ No, I didn’t throw it away’.
Men, on the other hand, commonly lie about:
- Their wealth
- Their educational status.
- ‘Nothing’s wrong, I’m fine’.
- ‘This will be my last drink’.
- ‘No, your bum doesn’t look big in that’.
- ‘I had no signal’.
- ‘My battery died’.
- ‘Sorry, I missed your call’.
- ‘I didn’t have that much to drink’.
- ‘I’m on my way’.
If you suspect that someone is lying to you, here are a few ways to tell if they are lying or not:
- If a person tells a lengthy story and finishes with details, they are considered to be telling the truth. This is according to psychology today. A short, incomplete story be fabricated.
- Liars keep more eye contact than truthful people, reported by psychology today. Truth tellers will also keep a constant rhythm of blinking while talking. In contrast, liars can increase their blinking up to eight times, research by the daily mail.
- “Someone who is lying can start to breathe heavily. In essence, they are out of breath because their heart rate and blood flow change. Your body experiences these types of changes when you are nervous and feeling tense”. This is according to Dr. Lillian Glass, behavioral analyst and body language expert and author of the body language of liars.
- Gregg McCrory is a retired FBI criminal profiler and crime analyst in Fredericksburg VA. He says, “that it’s important to first pick up on how the person usually speaks. Take note of if their voice is changing as they tell certain parts of the story.” People who are telling the truth have a steady speaking voice.
- Liars blame outside forces (e.g., ‘I’m late due to traffic”). Noah Zanden, science communicator and chief executive of Quantified Communications says, ” Lairs blame the outside forces as they feel guilty.”
- Liars touch their face or noses while they are speaking. Dr. Alan Hirsch of the smell and taste treatment and research foundation in Chicago says, “Certain tissues in the nose usually engorge. This happens when a person lies. They swell when someone is dishonest.” This releases histamine and makes the nose itch.”
If its not right – don’t do it. If its not true – don’t say it. SIMPLE!
When you lie, you in essence telling people that you are ashamed of telling the truth. You end up hurting yourself and all the people around you. Once you have told a lie, no matter how small, you diminish your credibility and people will always question you. Liars deliberately fabricate the truth, which is deceiving. If the truth eventually comes out, we look worse. We look worse for not opening up and telling the truth in the first place. Promises are worse than lies because you don’t just make people believe, you also make them hope.
If you want to be trusted, be honest. If you want to be told the truth, you need to be truthful. What are you teaching children and the people around you when you exposing them to lies? Put your faith in loyal people as disloyal people will always put their own interests over yours. It’s always better to get hurt by the truth than comforted by a lie.
In conclusion, honesty is more than just a moral compass; its the bedrock of genuine relationships and personal growth. Its more than just telling the truth—it’s about living authentically and aligning our words, actions, and values. When we embrace honesty, we build trust, strengthen relationships, and foster an environment where growth and understanding can thrive. It empowers us to face challenges with authenticity and navigate life’s complexities with a clear conscience. As we strive to be truthful in our words and actions, we not only enhance our own lives but also contribute to a world where transparency and trust are the norms. While it may be difficult at times, being truthful with ourselves and others ultimately leads to a more fulfilling and meaningful life. Honesty gives us the freedom to be our true selves, unburdened by the weight of deceit or fear. So, let’s choose to live with integrity, embrace the power of honesty, and cultivate deeper connections in all areas of our lives.
ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT THE TRUTH DOESN’T COST ANYTHING, BUT A LIE WILL COST YOU EVERYTHING!
HONESTY sets you FREE!
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