Think back to when you were eight. Maybe you were obsessed with dinosaurs, dreamed of being an astronaut, or spent hours drawing imaginary worlds. You were curious, sensitive, bold, shy, creative, or analytical—and while you’ve grown and evolved, that version of you still lives inside.
In fact, who you were at 8 years old may be one of the most important keys to understanding who you are today.
The Things That Made Me Smile
Not school. Not uniforms.
But freedom. Play. Trust.
When I was 8, I smiled when:
- I was playing with friends after school
- I went to aftercare just to be around people
- I was swimming in the afternoon sun
- I visited my grandparents—who always had something waiting for us
- I walked there and didn’t care how far it was
- I watched TV without guilt
- I didn’t worry about food or money or performance
- I went to bed at night peaceful, innocent, and held
What Changed?
Somewhere along the way, I became someone who:
- Measures her worth by productivity
- Feels guilty for resting
- Questions whether she’s enough
- Tries to fix everything before she can enjoy anything
- Apologizes for taking up space
- Says “yes” when her soul is begging her to say “no”
- Mistakes exhaustion for accomplishment
- Confuses being busy with being alive
- Believes love has to be earned instead of received freely
- Minimizes her wins and magnifies her flaws
- Equates slowing down with falling behind
- Forgets that joy doesn’t have to be justified
But now—now—I want to return.
The Psychology of the “Age 8 Self”
Age 8 sits at a powerful intersection in human development. According to child psychologists, this is when:
Cognitive and emotional regulation matures: We develop more complex thinking and begin to navigate emotions with greater awareness.
This is also the age when children become more aware of how others perceive them, which can either reinforce or challenge their emerging identity.
Self-concept begins to solidify: Children start forming a stable sense of identity, including values, interests, and personality traits.
Social identity takes shape: Kids begin to understand their place in peer groups, families, and communities.
Developmental Psychology Insights: Why Age 8 Is So Pivotal
To truly understand why your 8-year-old self still matters, we need to look at what psychologists have discovered about this unique stage of development.
1. Erikson’s Psychosocial Theory
At age 8, children are in the “Industry vs. Inferiority” stage of Erik Erikson’s psychosocial development model:
- They begin to develop competence through school, hobbies, and peer interactions.
- Success leads to confidence; failure or criticism can lead to feelings of inadequacy.
- This stage lays the groundwork for self-esteem, motivation, and how we approach challenges in adulthood.
2. Identity Formation
According to developmental psychologist Theo Klimstra, identity formation begins in childhood and accelerates in adolescence—but early traits and beliefs often remain stable across time:
Traits like curiosity, creativity, and emotional sensitivity frequently persist into adulthood, even if buried beneath survival mechanisms or societal expectations.
Statistics and Research: Childhood Experiences Shape Adult Mental Health
1. Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs)
- A 2024 twin study found that exposure to ACEs increases the odds of adult psychiatric disorders by 52% per additional ACE.
- Sexual abuse, emotional neglect, and family violence were especially predictive of depression, anxiety, and PTSD in adulthood.
2. Childhood Joy and Emotional Health
A study of 2,427 young men found that childhood joy and safety correlated with lower rates of adult depression.
These findings reinforce the idea that the emotional tone of your early years—whether joyful or painful—can echo throughout your life.
Children who engage in free play, creative expression, and nurturing relationships show higher emotional resilience later in life.
Analytical Layers: What’s Happening in the Brain at Age 8
1. Neurodevelopment
- At age 8, the prefrontal cortex begins maturing—this governs emotional regulation, decision-making, and social awareness.
- Experiences during this time shape neural pathways that influence how we respond to stress, relationships, and self-worth as adults.
2. Memory and Emotional Encoding
That’s why revisiting age 8 can trigger powerful emotional responses—it’s not just nostalgia, it’s neurobiological recall.
Early memories are stored in the limbic system, which is tied to emotional processing.
Why It Still Matters in Adulthood
1. Core Beliefs Are Rooted Here
The stories you told yourself at 8—“I’m smart,” “I’m not good enough,” “I’m funny,” “I’m invisible”—often become unconscious scripts that shape your adult decisions, relationships, and self-worth.
2. Trauma and Triumph Leave Imprints
Whether you experienced encouragement or criticism, safety or chaos, those moments etched themselves into your nervous system. Childhood trauma, especially before age 10, can distort self-perception and emotional regulation well into adulthood.
3. Your Passions Were Pure
At 8, you pursued joy without judgment. Revisiting those early interests can reconnect you to your authentic self—before the world told you who to be.
How to Reconnect With Your 8-Year-Old Self
- Use inner child meditation or journaling to explore unresolved emotions or rediscover joy.
- Write a letter to them: What did they need to hear? What would you thank them for?
- Revisit old hobbies: Did you love drawing, climbing trees, or building things? Try it again.
- Ask: What did I believe about myself back then? Is it still true? Was it ever?
What Would Life Look Like If It Were Easy?
If everything were simple and soft, just for today, it would look like:
- Waking up without shame
- Letting joy be small
- Not forcing a smile—but gently making space for one
- Letting one good memory guide me back to the parts of myself I buried, but never lost
A Quiet Realization
Maybe my truest self isn’t someone I need to become.
Maybe she’s someone I need to remember.
A Question for You
What made you smile when you were 8?
Would you like to bring just one of those moments into your day today?
If you’re reading this and feeling like joy is far away, I promise—it’s not gone.
It’s just waiting. Beneath the noise. Beneath the survival.
Still flickering. Still warm. Still yours.
Let’s return.
Body of Brilliance 